Opinion

The A-POCKET-ALYPSE

SARAH REECE
STAFF WRITER

     I’m going to rant about pockets. It may seem like a strange thing to choose to rant about, as it’s something most of you don’t really give much thought to, unless perhaps you’re shooting for the Guinness Book of World Records for carrying the most oranges around or something. To be honest, I don’t usually give them a lot of thought either. But I’ll explain why I’ve been thinking about them more lately. Or at least… why I’d been thinking about them a while ago when I wrote this rant.

   A few months ago was the gift giving season, and my grandparents bought my family an adorably dorky set of holiday pajamas with our names on them. We’d put them on and were sitting around the floor opening our other presents, laughing about how comfy they were, and how random that this ridiculous gift could be so funny and perfect. And then my brother exclaimed, “Guys! They have pockets!” And our hands all jumped to our waists at this thrilling discovery. And Dad indeed found his pockets and exclaimed, “Nifty!” And Mom and I grinned expectantly, as we continued trying to locate them. It only took a couple seconds for our grins to fade and for us to realize that our pairs actually didn’t have pockets.

   I don’t know if everybody would have been struck the way I was, but I was honestly hit for a minute with frustration and dejection. The four pairs of pajamas were identical, except my dad and my brother had been ordered “male” pajamas a design with pockets, and our “female” pairs came without.

   Please, it’s not like I have a special attachment to pockets and was betrayed. It just frustrated me to believe that somehow it’s natural to the industry that men should have pockets and not women.

   Think about the logic behind my teenage brother getting pockets and my Mom not: the fashion industry’s assumption that even a young boy would more deserve and possess a use for pockets than any female of any age.

   I know this is an anecdote about pajama pants, which are maybe not as important as real pants. But finding usable pockets in clothes designed for women is rare! So rare in fact that when one finds quality feminine pants with quality pockets, it constitutes a miracle hallelujah moment.

   This is ridiculous. This basic useful thing should be something we expect in our clothes! So why are we so accustomed to this gender difference? Spoiler alert, it’s connected to women’s fashions valuing the streamline figure, the idea that women don’t have things of private importance to be carrying around, and above all the assumption that all women carry purses. (This is the part where you read in secret, under cover of darkness, because the fashion industry will be hunting down any work of blasphemy that is responsible for a decline in their purse profits).

   It’s not about having a place to put your hands. Pockets represent, and have represented throughout history, a right to ownership and privacy. Pockets have been around longer than Wikipedia can specify, which is a very very long time. They were originally small pouches that hung from a belt. However, they evolved to be stitched into the clothes about the waist. In a time where locks and security systems were unreliable, the most safe and private place for possessions was on one’s person.

   Women’s clothing ditched pockets in the 1790’s, was because carrying items in pockets created bulges that were considered unflattering for a woman’s figure. *Gasp!* Can’t have that, now. Women began carrying bags, now known as purses. While fashion did create different kinds of pockets in what it considered more flattering areas, the most convenient and useful large pockets at the hips had been filed away as “Men Only.” Dress pockets once large enough to keep a needlecase and an orange were, by the 1840’s too tiny for a handful of change. Sounds familiar.

   In the age of the iPhone, pockets are necessary every single day, and inconsiderately designed pockets are a real pain in the back pocket area. It’s time for the Pockets Injustice to end.

“A History of Pockets.” Victoria and Albert Museum, Online Museum, Web Team, Webmaster@vam.ac.uk. N.p., n.d. Web. 13 Apr. 2015. <http://www.vam.ac.uk/content/articles/a/history-of-pockets/>.

es for taking our spots if we coolly pull up at 7:58 at the ring of the first bell in a scramble to get to class. Although it may be tempting as the only solution to withdraw the sophomores’ right to drive, think of the consequences. All high school camaraderie would be smashed to pieces.

    As for myself, being able to drive as a sophomore opened up a sea of opportunities. Not only was I able to pick up my sister, but a huge weight was lifted off the shoulders of my parents who wouldn’t have to leave work early to come get me after school. Going to Whole Foods to pick up last minute dinner items and running small errands like picking up the dry cleaning, my ability to drive simplified their lives as well as my own. As high school drivers, we can all relate to the feeling of freedom one encounters with a car key lanyard dangling out our pockets.

   That feeling is one that many sophomores would be resentful to give up in the face of seniority in the what now has become the competitive arena of upperclassmen. The Pinewood parking lot has grown into an overflowing and crowded scene. Students have no better option than to create non-existent spots and even park outside of the lot itself. Although some may say that the sophomores contribute to this mess, I believe that the sophomores are no more entitled to the parking lot than any junior or senior. Maybe the real issue is that there is not enough parking in the first place. But what did the poor, innocent sophomores have to do with that?

   Put the blame on the sophomores all you want, but as they start to roll in their new shiny wheels be ready to get to school at 7 a.m. because the early bird is sure to get

the worm.

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