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Kim-Pop: The New BTS


Staff’s Die-Hard BTS Fan

Graphic by Chewbacca

Everyone knows or has at least heard of Yong-Chan Kim – a beloved physics teacher at Pinewood School. However, what most people don’t about him is that he is a forthcoming member of the world-renowned Korean Pop band, BTS. Currently, there are seven members, but the addition of Kim will make it eight.

  Kim is more excited than he usually is in physics class about this opportunity.

  “It’s time to finally show off my wondrous dance and singing skills! I’m going to wow the world,” Kim rejoiced.

  In addition, Kim has already met all the BTS members. This past week, he has spent time with them at rehearsals. One of the members he is particularly close with is rapper Kim Nam-joon, also known as RM.

   “We’re friends now, yeah. That’s why I’ve been telling him that his singing and dancing is great, cause I don’t want to hurt his feelings, yeah. But to be honest, it’s absolutely terrible, yeah. Just don’t tell him I said that, yeah,” RM said. 

   Pinewood freshman Audrey Lo was able to provide her input.

   “When he sings, he sounds like a flamingo and an even more nasally version of Britney Spears combined. I really don’t vibe with his voice,” Lo said. “I mean, I love the current BTS and their music, but after hearing this disheartening news, I’m never listening to their music … ever again.”

  In contrast with Lo’s opinions, BigHit Entertainment, the entertainment company that hired Kim, loves everything about him.

   “We love his mellifluous voice and his ethereal dancing. And he even has funny jokes. Come on, what can beat that?” a BigHit Entertainment manager said.

   Unfortunately, Kim will be leaving Pinewood to pursue his new career. Being a K-pop singer is a full-time job, and Kim would not have time to teach.

   “This was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make. I love teaching so much, but who wouldn’t want to be a K-pop star? Sayonara, Pinewood,” Kim said.   

   BTS plans to tour starting in May of 2020. While some may hope that Kim does not join along and ruin their vocals, the Pinewood community will indefinitely cheer for him.