Opinion

DON’T BE A HALLOWEENIE

JACKIE GERSON

COPY EDITOR

    The cheap costumes, waxy candy, and tacky decorations are just a few reasons why someone may prefer other holidays over Halloween. But for me, Halloween manages to ruin the entire month of October, usually beginning in late September. You may think I’m over exaggerating (which maybe I am a little), but so would you if you could not watch any of your favorite TV channels, such as Cupcake Wars on the cooking channel.

   I hate Halloween. Ever since I was little, I refused to come close to the entrance of the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland, go near the scary costume section of any Halloween costume store, or watch any horror movies. I will admit – I am a chicken. The idea that someone scaring you is funny never made sense to me, especially in light of Halloween Haunt at Great America and other haunted houses that involve people jumping out at you. Yes, I haven’t even been in the haunted house at the Pinewood Jamboree.

    Horror movies, a movie in which the goal is to make you pee yourself, simply do not appeal to me for reasons which I think seem obvious- I enjoy sleeping at night and not thinking that the Grim Reaper lives under my bed. Not to mention that every horror movie appears to have the same plot. It usually goes along the lines of  “don’t look in the closet”, and then of course, they do. The fake blood, cheesy plots, and weeks of sleep deprivation to follow are not worthwhile.

    This all started when my older brother was having a party for his 11th birthday, which of course is in October, and they decided to watch”Scary Movie.” Although not intentionally a horror movie but instead meant to be a spoof of one, it still managed to frighten seven-year old me to tears. Since that day, I have always hated, despised, loathed, detested, and abhorred (there’s a bunch of vocab words for you) Halloween, the month of October included, because it feels like month long Halloween celebration of sorts.

    I know its truly October when I walk downstairs and see my mom has gone to town with decorations. She breaks out the usual cobwebs that nobody can ever truly get down, the black and orange plastic Halloween candy bowls that make gurgling noises as you innocently reach for a piece of hershey’s, and the oh so classy cups that have skeleton bones for a handle. One year, my sister thought it was a funny idea to stick a cabbage head in a jar of red dyed water to look like a floating brain. Let’s just say I threw it away before she could even remember she made it. So much for Martha Stewart’s Halloween catalog.

   Never-ending costume and horror movie commercials on every channel send unexpected screeching noises throughout my house and shivers down my spine, plaguing my usual pastime of careless TV watching. No longer can I sit back and admire how the contestants on Cupcake Wars make intricate, delicious cupcakes without the added terrifying bloody gore decorating it or a trashy, banal Halloween theme.

    I guess you can assume I have never worn a scary costume for Halloween either, unless you consider a bumble bee hair-raising. The most disappointing aspect of Halloween is, unarguably, the cheap, stomach-ache causing candy given on this dreaded night that culminates the entire month. At least give us some quality chocolate like Lindt or Ghirardelli!

    Start the Christmas celebration in August for all I care, but please someone help me from this Halloween excitement that lasts all month long.

   Start the Christmas celebration in August for all I care, but please someone help me from this Halloween excitement that lasts all month long.

Leave a Comment