A QUIRKY PINEWOOD: Part 2 of the Saga



   Last  issue, I had the opportunity to rant about a handful of awkward scenarios that most Pinewoodians can relate to. And congratulations to you, my lovely reader, because I have decided to do a Pinewood Awkward Moments Part II!

   As you may have noticed– unless you’ve closed your eyes, covered your ears, and hummed really loud for the past five and a half months– technology is sweeping the campus, supplanting textbooks and paper and pencil pouches. This means that charging our devices is an even bigger factor in our bedtime ritual.

   As with most of the students I’ve encountered, it is simple for me to reliably have one of my devices charged. However, between my laptop, my iPad, and my iPhone, one of my devices is bound to be in the low 30 percent range. This here is dangerous territory.

    Picture this: you are at your desk during a lecture, taking notes on your laptop. The teacher takes time explaining a concept thoroughly, but your focus is on the top right corner of your screen. Every minute that goes by is another percent, ticking down, down, down, wasted as you wait for the next Powerpoint slide of notes to be shown. So you close your screen.

   But just then, the teacher ramps up and returns to the explanation! So you open it back up, springing into keyboard position, glancing at the battery. And then the teacher stops to answer a random question. You wait and wait, watching the class get off topic. Curses! And the pattern continues.

   Start, stop, start, stop; open, close, open, close. You really know you’ve delved into a truly classifiable Pinewood Awkward Moment, when you begin bargaining with your laptop battery, begging it to please give you a little more time!

   See, the Ancient Pinewoodians never had it so difficult, with their battery-free stones and chisels. This is the real deal!

   More awkward technology moments, you say? Coming right up! Don’t misunderstand, I am on the “Yay iPads” Team: firstly, because they are the way of the future, and secondly, because they are great sources of rant comedy! For instance, imagine you are assigned a project– or worse, a partner project. You create a Google Doc (likely the day before it’s due), and start your typing. And you’re bound to goof around a little with it. And if your partner happens to be a buddy of yours, it’s likely you’re going to end up spamming and teasing each other with sentences scattered throughout the document.

   And if you’re anything like my friends and me, those sentences will probably exhibit a creative variety of fonts and sizes, making your project better resemble a ransom note than a formal paper. Sure, we are all well aware of the legendary Google Docs revision history *lightning strike.*

   But your teacher probably wouldn’t check that without due cause, so you’re fine and dandy. But then you realize the document was created in your already shared folder! *Double lightning strike!* Your teacher could have strolled on into your Google Docs party at any time!

   Really the only thing you can do is prepare for the worst and practice saying “I was hacked” with the most sincere voice you can muster. Or, you know, you could just take all of your assignments with caution and seriousness, and drain the fun out of it all.

   I hope you enjoyed these Pinewood Awkward moments. Judging by the fact that you are my audience and therefore are inherently awkward Pinewood citizens, it is probably safe to assume.